My $14 Haircut

I got a chop, and I knew I needed a cheap one so I headed to the place with the funniest name. I usually either get it done at a schmancy place for fifty bucks or go to my mom's house for a free cut. This was a new experience.

Apparently the extra that you are paying for at an expensive shop is the right to not being bossed around while you get your hair cut. She told me what to do with my life, how bad my hair looked, and all kinds of other vivacious information that comes free with the service.

The funny part was that the actual hair cut took about four minutes, then she just fluffed it around and pretended to cut more off for about 20 minutes while she bossed me. I don't know if she just felt like I needed the advice or if she thought I'd feel ripped off if she didn't take a long time.

If she hadn't been so bossy, I would have taken a picture of her, too. She kept telling me that curly hair is bad, and she has it, too, and I should do what she did: "relaxed" the curls and bleached her hair blond to the point that it's a crispy mini-bale of hay atop her head. I said I'd think about it.